Stepping outside loneliness

“I’m lonely,” she says. She had just started dating at the time.

Doesn’t Buzzfeed say romance is the cure to feeling alone?

Or friendship?

I remember curling up in my bed in the house I shared with four other girls on Adelaide. Hearing them laugh together, I turned my face to the wall, feeling claustrophobic. Why did the weight of loneliness press against me even when I lived with my best friends?

No one understands me.

It’s the reigning lie of isolation.

I am lonely one night when I stay up too late to scroll through the stages of his happiness. I can’t will myself to double tap on his success, so I remain an anonymous on-looker.

They have it better.

That is what the world shows us and that is what I show the world. We all chip in tools to build the wall.

I’m lonely one night when I call her, seeking connection. She’s busy and distracted–maybe lonely too.

The pursuit of connection is not worth the risk of rejection.

So, I turn to myself for support, to all the things I can do to be self-sustainable. I sign up for races, for retreats, for courses. I make travel plans.

But even I am a lousy cure for loneliness.

It’s when I step outside in the evening and my running shoes find a rhythm against the sidewalk that I feel loneliness evaporate in the evening light.

The victory is yours.

You alone are worthy.

The worship songs come full blast through my earbuds and I want to lift my hands right there in the middle of the sidewalk.

Because loneliness is not broken by a change in situation, but with the choice to worship.

With the simple choice to step outside and say the truth out loud.

You are greater.





One thought on “Stepping outside loneliness

  1. Thanks for writing this Kate.
    Being single and at times lonely is difficult. I have many years experience at this. Losing my dog Bobbie makes it even more difficult.
    I do what you do find peace in nature, that is why I love where I live.
    Being able to walk along the beach of Lake Huron seeing the ever changing coast line, walking up the steep embankment to try to find a way up closer to my home, only to be turned back not knowing where I am on the bank. I realize how lonely it is.
    Being single has its Benifits being able to do what I please, cook and eat what and when I want.
    But you still want to feel less lonely.
    I follow your blog and another which I just love. I feel less lonely knowing in the mornings I can read what my favourite Quilter is up to,seeing where she thas been and what she plans on doing.
    In the mornings it like I have someone there with me while I have my morning coffee.

    You are young and have so much to look forward to. I pray you find someone perfect for you.
    I’ve loved and lost many times, it doesn’t make it easier, but I’ve learned what I don’t want in a relationship.
    I look towards your grandma and Richard and the fact they found each other so late in life, and I’m hopeful that maybe someday I will be fortunate enough to find that.
    But I believe it will never happen.

    Love Aunt Wendy


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