Those will be the days

Those were the days. The Christmases. When everyone was there. Everyone – and the cheese and the crackers and the strange pickled things and the same people getting offended and offending everyone else. Those were the days.

The Christmases. When I’d leave the townhouse I shared with three other university students and bring my laundry home to the farm. When everyone was there. Everyone – and the chocolate-covered almonds and the strange Christmas pudding. Those were the days. 

The days I believed that Christmas morning had some magic to it, would bring me every happiness, even if it didn’t.

“I used to love Christmas,” I tell him, dramatically. But we became too practical for our own good. Never had a tree as adults, never hung up stockings. Not in that basement apartment. Not when we were underground, with the small windows, waiting for our life to start. 

“I used to love Christmas,” I tell him. 

And he listens. A good man. I come home from the conference, pull off my heels and there he is – snipping old lights off a massive Facebook-marketplace-miracle tree. Five Christmases together and it’s our very first tree.

“I’m really in the Christmas spirit this year,” I tell them – and it’s not just the tree.

“I have been learning about heaven and it has been changing my life.” I tell him more than once. Just so he knows the big thing happening in my heart, as we live together, make dinner together, take out the trash and clean the floors. 

I’ve never understood Advent – not past the lighting of the candles at the front of the church. Not until this year when I’ve been learning about heaven and remembering His coming – the impersonation of hope. 

Those were the days. The First Christmas. When everyone was there. Everyone – and the animals and the angels and the humble in heart. 

But there will be greater ones yet. When everyone is there. The redeemed and restored – from every nation, tribe, people and language. The new earth, plants, creatures, creativity and culture. The feasting, celebrations, music, laughter and learning.

And no more shadow of death. 

Those will be the days.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:3-4

I do not know God well enough

I do not know God well enough.

But I know she just lost her friend to a car accident. I know she just lost her baby in a miscarriage. And I know we just lost another man to an overdose. 

I do not know God well enough. 

But I know we just lost another house in a bidding war. I just lost another week to an illness. And I just lost another chance at a scholarship. 

I do not know God well enough. 

But I know what she told us over dinner as we celebrated her 60th birthday – and he asked her how it feels. Does she envy for youth? “I’ve gotten to live those years already,” she said with a smile. “Many people are looking ahead to them, but I have the guarantee of looking back on them.” 

I know what I feel on a Wednesday night when nothing seems to be working out for me – or for anyone else. “It’s been a weird week,” I tell him. “If only I knew God better.” If only my view of Him wasn’t blocked, but widened and expanded and lengthened. 

Maybe I would have perspective. The guarantee of looking back on who God has said He is. Showed He is.

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace. (Helen Howarth Lemmel)

I do not know God well enough. 

But I know the way he asks for my company on an errand even when we’re both having a bad day. I know she always sends me notes and cards and newspaper clippings because she thinks of me often. I know the way she’s there to talk it out even when she’s barely slept. 

And God’s love is deeper than that. 

I do not know God well enough.

But I know He is gracious. Slow to anger. Abounding in deep, unwavering, committed love.

“The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty.” Exodus 34:6-7a